2006-09-24
Don't do that again! (but... didja have a good time?)
Yeah... a 2nd post today...sigh� I was hoping Sean, my son and intrepid travel companion (see my previous post, Sedona Travelogue) would never grow up. Or at least not begin to grow up yet. Alas, that wasn�t to be. He�s grown enough to� damn near get into one hell of a lot of trouble.
Sean recently turned 16, and of course thinks he�s going on 22. His older sister (1/2 sister� not my daughter, but that�s not important to this story) lives practically across the street from his high school, while he lives a good 7 miles away. So� after school, he often goes there to wait for his Mom to pick him up later. Because of this� he had a key to said sister�s house.
The scene� It�s Saturday night, and what�s a 16 year old boy to do? When his sister is out of town? And he has a key to the house? And it�s a BIG house, with BIG televisions, and BIG sound systems, and a BIG stocked liquor cabinet, and� well, I think you can see where this is heading.
So, he did something that he really needs to do more of. He planned a party. Noooo, he should PLAN more, but without the party attached.
He gets permission to sleep at his friends house. His friend, of course, gets permission to sleep at Sean�s house.
A few friends are called� and they show up. Of course, on the way, they called one or two friends. And they called their friends�
Now, you�re sitting there smiling, laughing, thinking� Oh, been there and done that! But wait�.
Someone brings a girl, who also brings her own booze (damn, why can�t I find dates like that!). She consumes her booze� then passes out. Cold. Passes out with a capital P.
No one can wake her, they all get scared� and scatter. Sean is left there with a totally trashed house, and a girl that he is convinced is about to die.
At least he had the sense to call someone. His choice of friends to call was questionable, but it worked out� and he DID call.
He calls the only friend he knows that drives and has a cool mom. His friend comes over, they load the girl up and over to the friendly mom�s house they go. The mom, being a mom, sees that the girl is passed out cold and immediately calls the paramedics. The paramedics arrive, find a comatose UNDER AGE girl that no one knows her name, much less how to get hold of her parents so that permission to treat can be obtained. So� that brings out the police.
Are we having fun yet?
All that worked out� the girl was fine (but wouldn�t want THAT hangover), the police corroborated Sean�s contention that she brought and drank her own booze, the parents (once found) declined to press charges. Sean now knows a few police officers personally (!), and all that is left� is the clean-up.
My ex explained to me� �beer cans, empty bottles, every bed in the place puked in� and condoms!�. She didn�t find it meaningful when I pointed out that it was good that condoms were even used.
So� today I had the �talk� with Sean. Looked him straight in the eye and said �been there, done that�. Now don�t go and roll your eyes� believe me, he�s been screamed at, hollered at, and I guarantee you that each and every day, either his Mom or his Grandmother makes some comment about the incident (I can hear it now� out of the blue, just because they though of it suddenly, they turn to Sean and say �So� was it worth it? Are you happy?�� meaning, �you embarrassed me�). So, the last thing he needs is that. What he really needs is the truth. Namely, that he isn�t the only one that has done this, nor the only one to get caught. But, he also needs to know that for all the times nothing bad (of a permanent nature) happens, it often, often does. So that�s what we talked about today.
I started by tossing him a new box of condoms. Oh, if you could have seen his face! �What�s this for?�. You, dummy! I then proceeded to identify the 4 things that could have happened that COULD NOT be overlooked, ignored or somehow smoothed over given time, pleading, money, etc, and the condoms can help prevent 3 of these 4 things. Those things were:
1 � someone gets drunk / high and in an accident that maims or worse, kills someone. Get drunk and caught driving, you spend time in jail and have a chance to redeem yourself. Hurt or kill someone, and that is on your shoulders the REST of your life.
2 � catch AIDS� worse case scenario? Nope� it�s real, it�s out there, and it doesn�t announce itself. And then you die. Period. You might last awhile with the new drugs, but you�re still going to die.
3 � catch Herpes. It�s out there even more than AIDS� it�s everywhere. It also doesn�t announce. It sucks, as I�m sure those that suffer with it can attest.
4 � bring a life into this world that you didn�t intend to bring in. Nothing in the world changes one�s life� forever� like bringing a child into the world.
Ya know� I think for the first time in his life, he listened to me. Yeah, I had to admit to being a kid myself, and doing stupid things (but damn they were fun!), but I think that is actually what allowed him to see that I wasn�t just blowing smoke up his ass. I knew what it was to do stupid stuff which, at the time, seemed fun� until you had to face the real facts of what could have happened.
I dunno� I guess only time will tell. All I can do at this point is hope that he continues to be willing to tell me stuff that he won�t tell his Mom and ask my advice� and hope that he�s as lucky as I was at that age (and continue to be?).
I haven't changed by template yet... and may not. So, if you want to comment, drop me an email at:
t_85225 at yahoo dot com.
P.S. Comments are back on... hopefully Andrew and his minions got the latest flood of SPAM commenters sequestered in a secret CIA prison where they are forced to watch reruns of "George W & Friends Comedy Hour" ad infinitum.
t85225 at 6:07 p.m.
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