2006-04-13
Do I have time to order dinner? My flight leaves in 38 hours...
I should be working� instead, I�m flipping through the channels on the TV and thinking about writing. Well, I�m actually no longer thinking about writing and have switched to thinking about writing when I have absolutely nothing to say.
Almost nothing�
A few random observations about Puerto Rico. And I only mention these because they are continually assaulting me.
The police here are� different. You see them everywhere, all with HUGE 9mm pistols prominently displayed on their hips. I�m not sure what they do here to make your gaze be drawn to their pistol first, and the person second� but it works, and well.
Another difference with the police here� flashing police lights are analogous to Christmas tree lights. Their only purpose, it seems, is to identify the car / motorcycle as a police vehicle, not that they are in any particular hurry to get anywhere. They drive EVERYWHERE with their blue flashing lights flashing for all to see. But� even though the lights are going like mad, they aren�t. More than likely, they are poking along a road at 10 miles per hour below the speed limit� or pulling into a parking spot at a restaurant (almost any restaurant you walk into seems to have at least one police officer eating there� must be a lack of donut shops). I have no idea what they do when they actually want to go somewhere fast� how do they alert those around them to make way? Turn OFF their lights?
I was afraid this next observation was indicative of the island in general. Thankfully, I found that it only appears to apply to roughly 2/3 of the country. They have no concept here of� chair seat padding. No, I�m serious! No padding in the seats! Even when it LOOKS like the seat has padding� it turns out to simply be a swath of some fabric cleverly disguising a 1/8 sheet of 3/4" plywood. Half the time, the implement of ass-torture is made with metal� with no hint of padding. Now, maybe it�s really not needed here. Lord knows I�ve seen my share of J-Lo butts� but have they no mercy on the visiting mainland crackers? I�m 6�3� and 190 lbs� and I have NO butt, and therefore NO padding of my own. I sit at this computer for more than 20 minutes at a time, and the only way I can stretch it to 25 minutes is to put a pillow under my ass. Perhaps it�s the local�s way of making sure you don�t stay in your restaurant seat too long (thereby ensuring the police have somewhere to sit).
I�ve already mentioned the �if I ignore you maybe you�ll go away� customer service philosophy here. Another service-oriented observation� let the customer know that you hate what you�re doing. And the most common way to do this? Throw product down on the table / counter. Yup� throw! And I don�t mean toss, drop, or even lob. Throw in down� straight down, so that it bounces. Or.. if you�re serving a liquid in some sort of vessel, bang it hard enough to dent the Formica, but only do so at the very edge of the table / counter, so that you have room to shove the said vessel from the edge toward the intended recipient� then quickly turn away from the table so your smile isn�t seen. Very, VERY weird. And least you think I�m simply the victim of the waiter / waitress from hell� it happens over and over. It must be part of wait staff training here.
Damn.. now I�m hungry. Think I�ll go find a caf� and grow old waiting for a menu.
t85225 at 12:07 a.m.
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