2006-03-13
Children do not have the wisdon to judge...
It�s Monday morning, and I�m sitting at the airport� ready for a new week. Whew� it�s a relief to get back to �normal�. These last 3 weeks have been �go-live� weeks for me, taking a client live on our software. Thank god it was a small site� I can�t imagine what the other analysts feel (re: stress level) on the bigger client sites.
Along with all the stress of the last few weeks came a severe lack of time. Even this weekend, I literally crashed. I did nothing� and enjoyed every moment of it. So� that�s why I haven�t posted lately.
It isn�t too often that I rant� either here, or in real life. Overall, I usually find it a waste of my limited energy to rant about things that I cannot change (and, if I do find something that needs changing and I can help� I simply do what I can instead of ranting). But, this is a unique situation� I may yet have some influence over the issue, but I�m afraid it�s too late to do much about it. So I�ll rant.
As some know, I�m in the middle of a divorce, and stuck in the middle is my 15 year old son. I say stuck in the middle because that�s exactly where his mom has placed him.
She hasn�t gone as far to intentionally sabotage the relationship between Sean and myself� but her actions have done just that. My ex has the VERY annoying habit of spewing her version of whatever the family �problem de jour� is at the moment (no matter if it involved her or not), to whoever will listen. This includes just-made acquaintances at the grocery store, neighbors, etc, etc. I would cringe, discretely kick her under the table, do whatever I could to get her to think about what she was saying� but rarely made her think before she spoke.
It�s this habit of speaking in front of people that don�t need to know family �issues� that I think� no, I know� is directly responsible for the meltdown Sean had last night. As I was waiting for him last night, my ex came out to my truck to �discuss� a portion of the settlement that I�m not falling down on my sword and agreeing to. She became more agitated than I�ve ever seen her� and continued her tirade even after Sean came out. When I asked her to stop and suggested we continue the discussion later away from Sean� she refused, stating �he knows everything anyway�.
Of that I have no doubt. I certainly understand that she needs to talk to others about what is happening� but not in front of Sean. This inappropriate behavior, spewing her discontent with me, in front of Sean, is forcing Sean into choosing sides� and that�s just so wrong.
OK, I�ve vented a bit. Logically, I know that what happened last night between Sean and myself will, with care, finally be behind us. While it�s certainly something that needs to be attended to� and carefully� our relationship is not unrecoverable. I�m just so pissed that we have to work at getting it behind us� we should never have been placed into this position. Sean has enough to deal with, considering his parents are divorcing� should he have to play judge too?
t85225 at 6:54 a.m.
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