2006-02-27
Opaque veils before the mirror
Someone commented tonight on a very old post I made� and wouldn�t you know it, I needed to re-read that post. It was time� to both see that what I wrote was on a basis and foundation of basic truths (for me, anyway� it�s all held up, and rather well) and to refresh my memory of those truths.
There are times that I sit here, spouting my views, baring my thought and feelings� and when all is said and done, I wonder if what I just wrote is true. That isn�t to say that I don�t attempt to always be truthful, even when it isn�t pleasant. But, I�ve learned that while we may become proficient at seeing through other�s veils� it�s our own that are so often opaque. And knowing that� gives me pause for thought.
A dear friend, who reads but does not comment on this journal, asked me a lot of very tough questions many moons ago. I answered every one� but in doing so, I learned that I didn�t know myself as well as I thought I did. I wasn�t allowing myself to see the real me� mainly because I didn�t like what it looked like. Once I was able to see �me� (for the most part� it�s a never ending quest to see the �real� me), I was then able to start changing the parts I didn�t like� and weren�t working for me.
The writing I re-read tonight spoke about what was important to me. And, I�m happy to say, those same things are still what is important to me. A sign that I�m starting to be successful in peeking around the walls I�ve set up inside and seeing what�s really there? Possibly. Or maybe I�m just too stubborn to change. Yet more items to place on my �need to think about� list.
One of those things I wrote about being important to me was to find �my voice� in my writings. And perhaps that�s starting to come about. For sure, I�ve gotten a lot more regular about posting� and even garnered a few compliments (and for that, I thank everyone). But, I�m not writing for the compliments. I�m writing to think... and to share some of myself� and to make acquaintances that I hope will lead to friendships� and to provide a venue for me to allow my voice to be heard.
While I�m flattered beyond words by all the compliments, please� no fan club, nor following (Mythy, I know you were joking� and I�ll get you back :p ). If I say something that moves you, pisses you off, excites you, or causes you to drop into clinical depression� please comment. If you disagree, PLEASE COMMENT (damn I love a debate!) But all things in moderation� I�m starting to blush.
p.s. to whoever commented� I replied
t85225 at 10:17 p.m.
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